By Shirley M. Carolan
Here's a simple, painless and fun way to expand your vocabulary! Read on.
Whenever I am the Table Topics Master, at my Toastmaster Club, I choose the “word of the day” to accompany my Table Topics, which Toastmasters must use in their Table Topics. Often I am told “that’s an interesting word! Where of how did you find it?”
I have to give credit to doing daily crossword puzzles. Nary a day goes by that I don’t complete at least one crossword puzzle. Even if it’s midnight, I cannot go to sleep without doing a puzzle! Since words are my passion, I am fascinated by uncovering new words and meanings to words. I don’t always agree with the choice of word in the puzzle but I learn volumes because this gets me to think about what word I would prefer to use. Hence, I am always building or adding to my vocabulary.
If you are not an aficionado about crossword puzzles now, I urge you to try completing one and see what new words you will learn as a result. It’s an overlooked pastime, or game, that can pay dividends in your career, especially if you are in a management position. Take the daily newspaper with you wherever you go and find a few minutes here and there to complete the crossword puzzle.
This wonderfully overlooked learning tool can work for you especially if you are sitting in a doctor’s, dentist’s office, waiting for a bus or train, eating lunch alone, or are even on a coffee break. You learn while you wait! Once you’ve completed one crossword puzzle don’t give up. The following day try another puzzle. The fun of completing and “outwitting” the experts can gradually become a daily habit with you too! Before you know it, you will be amazed by how much your vocabulary has improved!
Shirley M. Carolan, ATMG
Artist ● Speaker ● Writer
artistwithaflair@att.net
Phone/Fax: 760-732-0663
http://www.shirleycarolan.com
http://www.angelscross.blogspot.com
http://www.smcarolan.blogspot.com
Copyright© 2008 by Shirley M. Carolan. All rights reserved. To reprint any part of this article simply contact Shirley Carolan at artistwithaflair@att.net. Thank you.
Friday, May 30, 2008
Friday, May 23, 2008
HOW TO STREAMLINE YOUR SPEECHES!
By Shirley M. Carolan
When you first join Toastmasters International it is very tempting to want to tell your audience everything you know about a specific topic. Take it from a 27 year veteran, that isn’t the best way to go!
One of the toughest lessons I had to learn is that “Less is More!” I didn’t conquer this lesson overnight. It took several years to appreciate and understand the benefits of this. First, I had to conquer the fear that others would think I didn’t know my subject if I didn’t include everything I knew about it. Then I ran l amuck trying to select only the salient points. Organizing them into a logical flow was another challenge. After all, everything in Toastmasters is timed and I needed to be sure the material I did select would hold up under scrutiny with an opening, body, and close!
It is far better to leave your audience clamoring for more than to overdo it with minutiae , especially with clichés, pet words, and jargon. The mind and the seat can only absorb so much. Better to save some material for a follow-up speech than to overdo it.
Boredom can also cause you audience to tune you out. While the topic may be of utmost interest to you, if you’ve not engaged your audience, or given them something to think about or take action on, then you run the risk of losing them!
Here are a few tips to help you streamline your talk:
• Start your presentation with a quote, statistic, or controversial idea is a good way to grab their attention.
• Use a handout to give more details or examples.
• Use slides, an overhead projector, flipchart, or music to create a mood.
• Ask your audience a question(s ) at the start or even conclusion..
• Tell your audience you’d be happy to send them more information if they’d like to leave their name and email address at the end of your presentation.
These are just a few tools to help you streamline your presentation so that it flows, is interesting and lets the audience know you are an expert on your subject. Hence, Less is More!
Stay tuned for more tips!
Shirley M. Carolan, ATMG
Artist ● Speaker ● Writer
artistwithaflair@att.net
Phone/Fax: 760-732-0663
http://www.shirleycarolan.com
http://www.angelscross.blogspot.com
http://www.smcarolan.blogspot.com
Copyright© 2008 by Shirley M. Carolan. All rights reserved. To reprint any part of this article simply contact Shirley Carolan at artistwithaflair@att.net. Thank you.
When you first join Toastmasters International it is very tempting to want to tell your audience everything you know about a specific topic. Take it from a 27 year veteran, that isn’t the best way to go!
One of the toughest lessons I had to learn is that “Less is More!” I didn’t conquer this lesson overnight. It took several years to appreciate and understand the benefits of this. First, I had to conquer the fear that others would think I didn’t know my subject if I didn’t include everything I knew about it. Then I ran l amuck trying to select only the salient points. Organizing them into a logical flow was another challenge. After all, everything in Toastmasters is timed and I needed to be sure the material I did select would hold up under scrutiny with an opening, body, and close!
It is far better to leave your audience clamoring for more than to overdo it with minutiae , especially with clichés, pet words, and jargon. The mind and the seat can only absorb so much. Better to save some material for a follow-up speech than to overdo it.
Boredom can also cause you audience to tune you out. While the topic may be of utmost interest to you, if you’ve not engaged your audience, or given them something to think about or take action on, then you run the risk of losing them!
Here are a few tips to help you streamline your talk:
• Start your presentation with a quote, statistic, or controversial idea is a good way to grab their attention.
• Use a handout to give more details or examples.
• Use slides, an overhead projector, flipchart, or music to create a mood.
• Ask your audience a question(s ) at the start or even conclusion..
• Tell your audience you’d be happy to send them more information if they’d like to leave their name and email address at the end of your presentation.
These are just a few tools to help you streamline your presentation so that it flows, is interesting and lets the audience know you are an expert on your subject. Hence, Less is More!
Stay tuned for more tips!
Shirley M. Carolan, ATMG
Artist ● Speaker ● Writer
artistwithaflair@att.net
Phone/Fax: 760-732-0663
http://www.shirleycarolan.com
http://www.angelscross.blogspot.com
http://www.smcarolan.blogspot.com
Copyright© 2008 by Shirley M. Carolan. All rights reserved. To reprint any part of this article simply contact Shirley Carolan at artistwithaflair@att.net. Thank you.
Monday, May 12, 2008
WHAT'S NEW?
Two major projects are taking up my time right now.
1. Recently I received several phone calls about my "Journaling For Success" classes. Yes, I am going to conduct them again! I am looking for an appropriate meeting room to hold these classes. I want it to be easily accessible from a freeway. Also, I want to keep the fee down and so want to find a venue that will pick up the insurance, in case of accident or injury. If you know of any places I might check out please contact me immediately, either by phone (760) 732-0663 or email: artistwithaflair@att.net!
2. I am in the throes of combining several of my blog articles with other unpublished articles I've written and am creating an "inspirational/motivational" book for women over 40 to read, enjoy, and start making better choices for their life styles. The baby boomers will definitely benefit from it. It will start with my first "Firewalk" with Tony Robbins in San Francisco when I was 56 years old and how it changed my life right up until I'm ready for Eternal Hills, together with the ashes of my little Pug/Terrier "Jake."
Stay tuned for more!
1. Recently I received several phone calls about my "Journaling For Success" classes. Yes, I am going to conduct them again! I am looking for an appropriate meeting room to hold these classes. I want it to be easily accessible from a freeway. Also, I want to keep the fee down and so want to find a venue that will pick up the insurance, in case of accident or injury. If you know of any places I might check out please contact me immediately, either by phone (760) 732-0663 or email: artistwithaflair@att.net!
2. I am in the throes of combining several of my blog articles with other unpublished articles I've written and am creating an "inspirational/motivational" book for women over 40 to read, enjoy, and start making better choices for their life styles. The baby boomers will definitely benefit from it. It will start with my first "Firewalk" with Tony Robbins in San Francisco when I was 56 years old and how it changed my life right up until I'm ready for Eternal Hills, together with the ashes of my little Pug/Terrier "Jake."
Stay tuned for more!
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
POSITIVE ENERGY HEALS!
By Shirley M. Carolan
We’ve all been around folks who are not very happy, either with themselves, or with life. As a result, we can often get sucked into their negative energy (aura) and start feeling down too, if we are not careful, or are unaware of what’s happening.
How refreshing it is then, to meet someone with a positive attitude, no hidden agenda, and a joy for life! Just being around someone like this is a blessing! One quickly forgets what might not be working in one’s life when we encounter someone with a joie de vivre ! Our energy is improved and so is our outlook. We literally savor the experience.
The latter happened to me recently when I ventured out to meet the public for the first time, after a dreadful accident almost 4 weeks prior, when I had a nasty fall, smashing my face, breaking my nose, and pulling some tendons in hands and legs and ended up in an ambulance being rushed to the local hospital. The fact that the huge black and purple circles around my eyes were still visible troubled me. I still had quite a swollen lip, my teeth hurt, and the skin was pulling all down the left side of my face so I had to forego makeup. That also bothered me. I hadn’t left the house without makeup since my pre-teen years and now I was a septuagenarian! I remember vividly asking the E/R doctor how I looked because I am quite vain, and there were no mirrors around, and he said “beautiful!” H’m. This guy was in the wrong profession!
But, as fate would have it, it was my turn to “sit the gallery. “ I’m a member of the Carlsbad Oceanside Art Leauge (COAL) and part of our dues, if we hang a painting at the gallery, is to pay a small hanging fee and sit the gallery for one session. Officers are exempt from sitting (the gallery), and, being an officer (Publicity Chairperson) I could easily have passed on this. However, I love to meet and talk to the public, find out what they are interested in, which paintings, sculptures, photos, etc. appeal to them and why. I love it when folks come in from other parts of the country too and I get to know what it’s like to live in another state or region.
This was the scenario two weeks ago when it was my turn to sit the gallery. I was settled in at the front desk when in bounced these two women. They whizzed through the gallery and returned to the section reserved for the “Artist of the Month” exhibition. This month it was a famous watercolor artist. They were in animated conversation when in worked the artist in the flesh! Apparently the three were friends.
After a few minutes I heard one woman say “I’ll take that one! My husband will love it too.” Hello, was I experiencing a fantastic sale so early in the day or, was it a joke? Further conversation ensued and I heard the woman say I just love this “Phoenix and the Mission” watercolor. Sure enough the woman was serious and I got to write up the purchase.
As I completed the paperwork I congratulated her, and asked her where she intended to hang the painting. She smiled, a bit sheepishly, and said that she had lost her house and all her belongings in the wildfires last fall in Fallbrook and that she had nowhere to hang it at the moment. Again, I took in a deep breath as I weighed the situation. This was pretty heady stuff. The painting was quite expensive, just under a thousand dollars and the buyer didn’t even have a wall to hang it on!
H’m what to do … I quickly called the Gallery Manager and asked him where they kept the “sold” stickers at the gallery. Whereupon he told me the client could take the painting with her once it was paid for. Then I told him the dilemma and there was a pregnant pause at his end. It was agreed the client could leave the painting at the gallery until the end of the month when a new exhibition would take over. I quickly made up a “sold” sign for her and placed it on the painting. The woman was overjoyed with her purchase, just like a kid in a candy shop. I just had to admire her courage and gift of life.
I asked her was she going to rebuild in Fallbrook and she said “Yes!” However, things were moving slowly and the Fire Department had come up with new regulations to make fighting such dreadful blazes more easy. It also meant thousands more dollars would be added to the price of the new home. She seemed undaunted ... almost matter of fact. Then she said her husband was a collector and had lost everything in the fire. But they were going to pick up the pieces and start anew. Again, I congratulated her on her positive outlook and philosophy and wished her well.
After the three friends departed I sat quietly and reflected on the scene of a few minutes ago. I was feeling euphoric and then it hit me. How would I act, or react, if I had just lost my beautiful home and all my possessions? Would I feel like buying a beautiful, expensive, watercolor with nowhere to hang it? Would I even be out gallivanting with friends? I think not. My reaction would probably be much more somber.
However, I’ve discovered a very important lesson from this experience. Since then, whenever I’ve felt down in the dumps, disappointed, frustrated, annoyed, or angry at anyone or anything, I’ve thought about the woman who has lost everything she ever loved, bought, or collected in one fell swoop, and how her spirit has remained positive, friendly, and almost childlike! If she can exhibit such joy and pleasure at life after losing everything, then I can certainly handle the minor, ego-driven things in my life! She has certainly helped me to put things into perspective and, for that, I am eternally grateful!
Shirley M. Carolan, ATMG
Artist ● Speaker ● Writer
artistwithaflair@att.net
Phone/Fax: 760-732-0663
http://www.shirleycarolan.com
http://www.angelscross.blogspot.com
http://www.smcarolan.blogspot.com
Copyright© 2008 by Shirley M. Carolan. All rights reserved. To reprint any part of this article simply contact Shirley Carolan at artistwithaflair@att.net. Thank you.
We’ve all been around folks who are not very happy, either with themselves, or with life. As a result, we can often get sucked into their negative energy (aura) and start feeling down too, if we are not careful, or are unaware of what’s happening.
How refreshing it is then, to meet someone with a positive attitude, no hidden agenda, and a joy for life! Just being around someone like this is a blessing! One quickly forgets what might not be working in one’s life when we encounter someone with a joie de vivre ! Our energy is improved and so is our outlook. We literally savor the experience.
The latter happened to me recently when I ventured out to meet the public for the first time, after a dreadful accident almost 4 weeks prior, when I had a nasty fall, smashing my face, breaking my nose, and pulling some tendons in hands and legs and ended up in an ambulance being rushed to the local hospital. The fact that the huge black and purple circles around my eyes were still visible troubled me. I still had quite a swollen lip, my teeth hurt, and the skin was pulling all down the left side of my face so I had to forego makeup. That also bothered me. I hadn’t left the house without makeup since my pre-teen years and now I was a septuagenarian! I remember vividly asking the E/R doctor how I looked because I am quite vain, and there were no mirrors around, and he said “beautiful!” H’m. This guy was in the wrong profession!
But, as fate would have it, it was my turn to “sit the gallery. “ I’m a member of the Carlsbad Oceanside Art Leauge (COAL) and part of our dues, if we hang a painting at the gallery, is to pay a small hanging fee and sit the gallery for one session. Officers are exempt from sitting (the gallery), and, being an officer (Publicity Chairperson) I could easily have passed on this. However, I love to meet and talk to the public, find out what they are interested in, which paintings, sculptures, photos, etc. appeal to them and why. I love it when folks come in from other parts of the country too and I get to know what it’s like to live in another state or region.
This was the scenario two weeks ago when it was my turn to sit the gallery. I was settled in at the front desk when in bounced these two women. They whizzed through the gallery and returned to the section reserved for the “Artist of the Month” exhibition. This month it was a famous watercolor artist. They were in animated conversation when in worked the artist in the flesh! Apparently the three were friends.
After a few minutes I heard one woman say “I’ll take that one! My husband will love it too.” Hello, was I experiencing a fantastic sale so early in the day or, was it a joke? Further conversation ensued and I heard the woman say I just love this “Phoenix and the Mission” watercolor. Sure enough the woman was serious and I got to write up the purchase.
As I completed the paperwork I congratulated her, and asked her where she intended to hang the painting. She smiled, a bit sheepishly, and said that she had lost her house and all her belongings in the wildfires last fall in Fallbrook and that she had nowhere to hang it at the moment. Again, I took in a deep breath as I weighed the situation. This was pretty heady stuff. The painting was quite expensive, just under a thousand dollars and the buyer didn’t even have a wall to hang it on!
H’m what to do … I quickly called the Gallery Manager and asked him where they kept the “sold” stickers at the gallery. Whereupon he told me the client could take the painting with her once it was paid for. Then I told him the dilemma and there was a pregnant pause at his end. It was agreed the client could leave the painting at the gallery until the end of the month when a new exhibition would take over. I quickly made up a “sold” sign for her and placed it on the painting. The woman was overjoyed with her purchase, just like a kid in a candy shop. I just had to admire her courage and gift of life.
I asked her was she going to rebuild in Fallbrook and she said “Yes!” However, things were moving slowly and the Fire Department had come up with new regulations to make fighting such dreadful blazes more easy. It also meant thousands more dollars would be added to the price of the new home. She seemed undaunted ... almost matter of fact. Then she said her husband was a collector and had lost everything in the fire. But they were going to pick up the pieces and start anew. Again, I congratulated her on her positive outlook and philosophy and wished her well.
After the three friends departed I sat quietly and reflected on the scene of a few minutes ago. I was feeling euphoric and then it hit me. How would I act, or react, if I had just lost my beautiful home and all my possessions? Would I feel like buying a beautiful, expensive, watercolor with nowhere to hang it? Would I even be out gallivanting with friends? I think not. My reaction would probably be much more somber.
However, I’ve discovered a very important lesson from this experience. Since then, whenever I’ve felt down in the dumps, disappointed, frustrated, annoyed, or angry at anyone or anything, I’ve thought about the woman who has lost everything she ever loved, bought, or collected in one fell swoop, and how her spirit has remained positive, friendly, and almost childlike! If she can exhibit such joy and pleasure at life after losing everything, then I can certainly handle the minor, ego-driven things in my life! She has certainly helped me to put things into perspective and, for that, I am eternally grateful!
Shirley M. Carolan, ATMG
Artist ● Speaker ● Writer
artistwithaflair@att.net
Phone/Fax: 760-732-0663
http://www.shirleycarolan.com
http://www.angelscross.blogspot.com
http://www.smcarolan.blogspot.com
Copyright© 2008 by Shirley M. Carolan. All rights reserved. To reprint any part of this article simply contact Shirley Carolan at artistwithaflair@att.net. Thank you.
Monday, March 31, 2008
“HOW TO CONVALESCE IN STYLE!”
By Shirley M. Carolan, ATM-G
The fickle finger of fate can impact anyone of us unexpectedly at any time. We never know when adversity is going to hit, and if you’re like me, you certainly don’t go around expecting it or preparing for it. It can happen in an instant, even on a bright, warm, sunshiny day, while walking your dog, with birds chirping and blossoms opening and sharing their fragrance with a promising world.
That’s what happened to me on Sunday, March 16 (Palm Sunday) when adversity reared its ugly head and literally struck me in the face!
Voila, my right foot hit an uneven chink in the sidewalk sending me unceremoniously, catapulting head first to kiss the pavement! The impact was sudden, loud, and excruciatingly painful. I knew I was in trouble when I saw the blood flowing down the sidewalk into the street. My head was pounding but I was able to see out of one eye and finally was able to hear my voice cry out for help. Unable to move a muscle I saw my little dog bend over me and lick me. I knew she was OK and then I realized I am alive, I am alive!
Returning home from Tri-City Hospital emergency room was an ordeal and I was now faced with some unexpected downtime while my broken nose, ribs, and assorted bones healed. I was now determined to make the most of my recovery time. I share that journey with you now:
1. Doing a daily crossword puzzle became my favorite pastime. It was a positive experience because I learned new words, improved my vocabulary. As a speaker and writer, this was a definite win-win “situation.” I am a daily “crossworder” anyway but this extra downtime helped further increase my arsenal of “words!” No speaker or writer could want for more and the daily newspaper costs so little!
2. Reading one of the numerous books I’d purchased on Amazon was one option. Alas, I found my attention span wandered and I was not able to concentrate … so serious reading was replaced with more frivolous stuff!
3. In my head I wrote rough drafts of future speeches, articles, and blogs. Thoughts and ideas just seemed to flow to me non-stop. Writer’s cramp would not be a problem for me!
4. As each day passed and I was able to do more physically, I sat at my computer and banged out my wonderful thoughts, ideas, dreams, etc. Seeing them take more concrete shape inspired me and impelled me on.
5. Daily seeing and experiencing improvement physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually had a profound positive impact on my state of mind and well being. My energy was gradually returning. My sense of gratitude multiplied as I vowed never to take my life for granted again, or for that matter the world around me! Taking time to smell the roses, admire nature at her best, being cognizant of the wonderful gifts, talents, hobbies and friends that make up my life.
Vital Lessons I Learned While Convalescing!
Healing time after any accident or loss can vary from individual to individual. It depends on each person’s mindset (physical and mental makeup). Hence, I want to share some important observations I made and perhaps they will help you if you ever become momentarily disabled. Since I can be a workaholic, I learned not to set impossible standards/tasks for myself at this time of great incapacity. I learned to be grateful each day for what I could accomplish! Just seeing a small improvement in daily activities can bring a smile of acceptance to even the most jaded among us.
Here are some other gems.
For those who can’t say “No” This is for the “people pleasers” among us, myself included! I was amazed how often I would give in to others requests of my time, energy, skills, expertise, etc. when interrupted by a phone call or email from someone. Wow, this had to stop. I needed to respect and appreciate my time and talents more. I made up my mind to do that henceforth, especially after I recovered. While, I don’t like to say NO, whether to a client, friend, neighbor, Toastmaster, or someone from my volunteer activities, I quickly discovered that not everything has to be handled right then and there when asked to do so.
For example, if some writing project was expected of me, such as a press release or newspaper article, and the event was way in the future, I suggested that the caller e-mail me all the details so I could absorb it in more detail (and at my leisure). This cut down the time listening on the phone when I was not feeling up to par. It also conveyed to them I was interested in their project, and it left me feeling more professional! Yea, it bought me time to heal and not expend valuable energy!
This downtime certainly made me aware of some behavior I needed to change and incorporate when healed and dealing with others in the future. So, let me recap here what I learned:
DO:
1. Set boundaries on your time, energy, people, priorities!
2. Be firm with yourself and others … this may take practice but will pay dividends!
3. Be aware of what you can do at this time and prioritize those things
4. Do keep a Journal of your thoughts, feelings, and progress – it could be worse!
5. Learn to compromise. You can’t always say “yes” to others. Find new ways to handle others’ requests and get results without compromising your own healing time!
DON’T:
1. Say YES to every request. Choose wisely what you can handle, let go of the rest.
2. Don’t let others sidetrack you, or start feeling sorry for you! You are not a victim! You are merely choosing to use your time/skills/energy/money, etc. more purposefully!!
3. Feel guilty because you’re taking care of yourself (for a change) you deserve it.
4. Trade war/horror stories with callers, neighbors, friends – it drains you of energy, and nothing gets resolved
5. Play the victim role or obsess over why this accident happened!
You can Convalesce In Style! Regardless of your occupation, writer, speaker, artist, etc. there is something to be learned while going through recovery from any situation. Use your downtime to do some real soul-searching on how you live your life, how you see yourself and who and what’s truly important to you!
A votre santé!
Shirley M. Carolan, ATMG
Artist ● Speaker ● Writer
artistwithaflair@att.net
Phone/Fax: 760-732-0663
http://www.shirleycarolan.com
http://www.angelscross.blogspot.com
http://www.smcarolan.blogspot.com
Copyright© 2008 by Shirley M. Carolan. All rights reserved. To reprint any part of this article simply contact Shirley Carolan at artistwithaflair@att.net. Thank you.
The fickle finger of fate can impact anyone of us unexpectedly at any time. We never know when adversity is going to hit, and if you’re like me, you certainly don’t go around expecting it or preparing for it. It can happen in an instant, even on a bright, warm, sunshiny day, while walking your dog, with birds chirping and blossoms opening and sharing their fragrance with a promising world.
That’s what happened to me on Sunday, March 16 (Palm Sunday) when adversity reared its ugly head and literally struck me in the face!
Voila, my right foot hit an uneven chink in the sidewalk sending me unceremoniously, catapulting head first to kiss the pavement! The impact was sudden, loud, and excruciatingly painful. I knew I was in trouble when I saw the blood flowing down the sidewalk into the street. My head was pounding but I was able to see out of one eye and finally was able to hear my voice cry out for help. Unable to move a muscle I saw my little dog bend over me and lick me. I knew she was OK and then I realized I am alive, I am alive!
Returning home from Tri-City Hospital emergency room was an ordeal and I was now faced with some unexpected downtime while my broken nose, ribs, and assorted bones healed. I was now determined to make the most of my recovery time. I share that journey with you now:
1. Doing a daily crossword puzzle became my favorite pastime. It was a positive experience because I learned new words, improved my vocabulary. As a speaker and writer, this was a definite win-win “situation.” I am a daily “crossworder” anyway but this extra downtime helped further increase my arsenal of “words!” No speaker or writer could want for more and the daily newspaper costs so little!
2. Reading one of the numerous books I’d purchased on Amazon was one option. Alas, I found my attention span wandered and I was not able to concentrate … so serious reading was replaced with more frivolous stuff!
3. In my head I wrote rough drafts of future speeches, articles, and blogs. Thoughts and ideas just seemed to flow to me non-stop. Writer’s cramp would not be a problem for me!
4. As each day passed and I was able to do more physically, I sat at my computer and banged out my wonderful thoughts, ideas, dreams, etc. Seeing them take more concrete shape inspired me and impelled me on.
5. Daily seeing and experiencing improvement physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually had a profound positive impact on my state of mind and well being. My energy was gradually returning. My sense of gratitude multiplied as I vowed never to take my life for granted again, or for that matter the world around me! Taking time to smell the roses, admire nature at her best, being cognizant of the wonderful gifts, talents, hobbies and friends that make up my life.
Vital Lessons I Learned While Convalescing!
Healing time after any accident or loss can vary from individual to individual. It depends on each person’s mindset (physical and mental makeup). Hence, I want to share some important observations I made and perhaps they will help you if you ever become momentarily disabled. Since I can be a workaholic, I learned not to set impossible standards/tasks for myself at this time of great incapacity. I learned to be grateful each day for what I could accomplish! Just seeing a small improvement in daily activities can bring a smile of acceptance to even the most jaded among us.
Here are some other gems.
For those who can’t say “No” This is for the “people pleasers” among us, myself included! I was amazed how often I would give in to others requests of my time, energy, skills, expertise, etc. when interrupted by a phone call or email from someone. Wow, this had to stop. I needed to respect and appreciate my time and talents more. I made up my mind to do that henceforth, especially after I recovered. While, I don’t like to say NO, whether to a client, friend, neighbor, Toastmaster, or someone from my volunteer activities, I quickly discovered that not everything has to be handled right then and there when asked to do so.
For example, if some writing project was expected of me, such as a press release or newspaper article, and the event was way in the future, I suggested that the caller e-mail me all the details so I could absorb it in more detail (and at my leisure). This cut down the time listening on the phone when I was not feeling up to par. It also conveyed to them I was interested in their project, and it left me feeling more professional! Yea, it bought me time to heal and not expend valuable energy!
This downtime certainly made me aware of some behavior I needed to change and incorporate when healed and dealing with others in the future. So, let me recap here what I learned:
DO:
1. Set boundaries on your time, energy, people, priorities!
2. Be firm with yourself and others … this may take practice but will pay dividends!
3. Be aware of what you can do at this time and prioritize those things
4. Do keep a Journal of your thoughts, feelings, and progress – it could be worse!
5. Learn to compromise. You can’t always say “yes” to others. Find new ways to handle others’ requests and get results without compromising your own healing time!
DON’T:
1. Say YES to every request. Choose wisely what you can handle, let go of the rest.
2. Don’t let others sidetrack you, or start feeling sorry for you! You are not a victim! You are merely choosing to use your time/skills/energy/money, etc. more purposefully!!
3. Feel guilty because you’re taking care of yourself (for a change) you deserve it.
4. Trade war/horror stories with callers, neighbors, friends – it drains you of energy, and nothing gets resolved
5. Play the victim role or obsess over why this accident happened!
You can Convalesce In Style! Regardless of your occupation, writer, speaker, artist, etc. there is something to be learned while going through recovery from any situation. Use your downtime to do some real soul-searching on how you live your life, how you see yourself and who and what’s truly important to you!
A votre santé!
Shirley M. Carolan, ATMG
Artist ● Speaker ● Writer
artistwithaflair@att.net
Phone/Fax: 760-732-0663
http://www.shirleycarolan.com
http://www.angelscross.blogspot.com
http://www.smcarolan.blogspot.com
Copyright© 2008 by Shirley M. Carolan. All rights reserved. To reprint any part of this article simply contact Shirley Carolan at artistwithaflair@att.net. Thank you.
Friday, February 29, 2008
“IT’S LEAP YEAR – SO WHAT?”
by Shirley M. Carolan
How wonderful to get a year with an extra day in it! It’s like getting a bonus. I wonder how many people are taking advantage of today and what they are doing to celebrate it?
I remember when I was a young girl we were taught that Leap Year was very special because if you were unattached, or did not have a steady boyfriend, when Leap Year came around you could ask the boy, or man of your dreams for a date, a dance, a favor without feeling the least bit forward or out of place. You could even ask him to marry you!
How quickly time, and customs change. With female emancipation has come the freedom of asking for what we want, when we want it, without having to wait four years to have “permission” to do so. Yes, the 21st century has changed a lot of customs and yesteryear seems quaint by today’s standards.
Be that as it may, I intend to honor Leap Year, not just February 29, but the entire year! I have a feeling that some wonderful events, happenings, and opportunities will occur for me this year. Hence, I know my Journal will be kept busy recording these wonderful events,
When the year is over I will be able to look back on my writing and speaking gigs and see what interesting events and opportunities unfolded and what new friends and customs came into my life as a result. I might be tempted to ask would these things have happened had it not been Leap Year? Who knows, but it’s fun to dream, isn’t it.
Meanwhile, I wish you all a very happy and productive Leap Year!
Shirley M. Carolan, ATMG
Artist ● Speaker ● Writer
artistwithaflair@att.net
Phone/Fax: 760-732-0663
http://www.shirleycarolan.com
http://www.angelscross.blogspot.com
http://www.smcarolan.blogspot.com
Copyright© 2008 by Shirley M. Carolan. All rights reserved. To reprint any part of this article simply contact Shirley Carolan at artistwithaflair@att.net. Thank you.
How wonderful to get a year with an extra day in it! It’s like getting a bonus. I wonder how many people are taking advantage of today and what they are doing to celebrate it?
I remember when I was a young girl we were taught that Leap Year was very special because if you were unattached, or did not have a steady boyfriend, when Leap Year came around you could ask the boy, or man of your dreams for a date, a dance, a favor without feeling the least bit forward or out of place. You could even ask him to marry you!
How quickly time, and customs change. With female emancipation has come the freedom of asking for what we want, when we want it, without having to wait four years to have “permission” to do so. Yes, the 21st century has changed a lot of customs and yesteryear seems quaint by today’s standards.
Be that as it may, I intend to honor Leap Year, not just February 29, but the entire year! I have a feeling that some wonderful events, happenings, and opportunities will occur for me this year. Hence, I know my Journal will be kept busy recording these wonderful events,
When the year is over I will be able to look back on my writing and speaking gigs and see what interesting events and opportunities unfolded and what new friends and customs came into my life as a result. I might be tempted to ask would these things have happened had it not been Leap Year? Who knows, but it’s fun to dream, isn’t it.
Meanwhile, I wish you all a very happy and productive Leap Year!
Shirley M. Carolan, ATMG
Artist ● Speaker ● Writer
artistwithaflair@att.net
Phone/Fax: 760-732-0663
http://www.shirleycarolan.com
http://www.angelscross.blogspot.com
http://www.smcarolan.blogspot.com
Copyright© 2008 by Shirley M. Carolan. All rights reserved. To reprint any part of this article simply contact Shirley Carolan at artistwithaflair@att.net. Thank you.
Monday, January 28, 2008
WHY TAPE RECORD YOUR SPEECHES?
By Shirley M. Carolan, ATMG
Often folks who know I’ve been around Toastmasters for a few years ask me “What’s the best way to improve my speaking skills?” Without skipping a beat I usually say “One of the best tips I’ve learned, as a Toastmaster and would-be speaker, is to tape record my speeches after I’ve written a final draft.” It helps me to hear how my voice sounds and whether the material flows.
Here’s a short list of questions I ask myself: Is it well organized or does it need some more editing? Does it address the objectives of the manual speech? How is the pitch and the tone, too fast, too slow? Does it have too many repeat words or phrases? Can an audience understand the flow and purpose? Did I include something for the audience to chew on?
Once I’m satisfied with the material I try to listen to it whenever I can.... sometimes driving to work, getting caught in traffic, or driving down the freeway are good times to play it. Each time I play it and hear it I get more comfortable with it, until finally, I feel I own the words. This doesn’t mean that I sound like a parrot but it cuts down my fear of public speaking and gives me confidence in knowing that I am well prepared.
When it’s time to give my speech to a live audience I like to tape record it again. However, if you belong to a Toastmaster Club that is lucky enough to have a video camera you may want to use that as well. I know Toastmasters who then post their speeches on their websites or have copies made to sell down the road.
And, over the years, I’ve even learned to tape record my Evaluator’s comments too. It’s another educational tool or bonus to help me improve my speaking skills. So why not take advantage of everything Toastmasters has to offer?
Regardless of why you joined Toastmasters, whether you aspire to become a professional speaker, are an entrepreneur who must market yourself to others, or have received a promotion and now must conduct meetings, your credibility and success will be greatly improved when you take the trouble to record yourself.
The next time you prepare to give a speech, I urge you to take a few minutes during rehearsal and ask yourself the above questions about your material. When you are comfortable and sure that you’ve covered all the bases the next step is to tape record your material. Only you will know when you are ready to do this. If necessary, remind yourself of the benefits you will gain from taping your speech:
Here are a few benefits to consider:
• You will cut down on rambling
• You will hear how you sound delivering your material
• You will stop needlessly repeating yourself
• You will avoid jargon, slang and misunderstood terminology
• You will avoid crutch words and overuse of pet phrases
• You will avoid outworn or overused clichés
• you will be able to adjust your pitch, volume, pace!
I leave you with these thoughts: “Words are the poetry of the soul! They are as unique as your fingerprints. You owe it to yourself to leave the finest imprint!™ Stay tuned. My next session deals with “Why You Should Use A Videocam in Your Presentations.
Shirley M. Carolan, ATMG
Artist ● Speaker ● Writer
artistwithaflair@att.net
Phone/Fax: 760-732-0663
http://www.angelscross.blogspot.com
http://www.smcarolan.blogspot.com
Copyright© 2008 by Shirley Carolan. All rights reserved. To reprint any portion of this article simply contact Shirley Carolan at artistwithaflair@att.net.
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