TO THINE OWN SELF BE TRUE!

By Shirley Carolan, ATMG

This month just got away from me. I had so many different ideas and thoughts for articles but couldn’t seem to find the time to put pen to paper. However, I feel the above title covers a multitude of things that happened to me this month that required some sound thinking, assessing and decision making on my part. Shakespeare did indeed say it with panache: “To Thine Own Self Be True!”

A few things happened that were somewhat painful for me and upon journaling about them I found in some cases my expectations, of myself, and others, did not match reality. Whenever my expectations of others gets in the way my ego takes a beating. I found I need to validate myself and not expect others to do that for me... Hence, the above title is applicable.

Wonderful progress, healthwise, this month: I’m now walking almost one mile daily, with the walker and my little dog, Teddy, but without oxygen! I’ve not done that in 3 years! I am so excited. I’ve lost a little over 10 lbs. (mostly by cutting down on sugar and extra walking). I’m riding my exercise bike daily and have trimmed down my figure even more! I bought a new walker from a fantastic Thrift Shop at a great price and donated the other walker to them along with some new clothes that just hung on me. Then, I donated more clothes and household items to “Goodwill.” This served the purpose of my getting rid of the clutter! Wow, I’m on a natural high from this and still have a way to go to reach my goal.

Two doctors last week practically apologized to me for calling me on the “Elephant in the Room”… my age! They admitted that “one size does not fit all.” They feel I’ve made tremendous progress, have more energy, and am determined to reach my long range health goals of walking 1-2 miles a day, without walker or oxygen! I told them I was entering the Toastmasters International Speech Contest at my club and the title would be: “The Elephant in the Room!” They laughed heartily and wished me well.

Last week I entered two International Speech Contests, “Table Topics” (which is “impromptu” speaking) and the “International Speech Contest.’’ I spent untold hours writing, rehearsing and delivering my speech last week. I felt I had good quotations, some humor, stayed on focus with good examples and dressed like a professional speaker. However, I did not feel I got through to the audience, particularly because one side of the room seemed to have their faces in “neutral.” I found it disconcerting and allowed it to affect me. I did win the “Table Topics” Contest.

Once again, I expected my family, and some friends to be supportive of my efforts only to realize, once again, it was not on their “agenda.” Ah yes, expectations seem to do me in every time! I know, I know, “ambition should be made of sterner stuff.” Thank God for Journaling because it has brought me back to earth and now I can accept that life is not about expecting others to validate you, or to act the way you think they should. It’s about being able to validate yourself! I’ve now come full circle “To Thine Own Self Be True!”

Shirley M. Carolan, ATMG
Writer ● Speaker ● Artist
artistwithaflair@att.net
Phone/Fax: 760-732-0663
http://www.shirleycarolan.com
http://www.angelscross.blogspot.com
http://www.smcarolan.blogspot.com

Copyright© 2012 by Shirley M. Carolan. All rights reserved. To reprint any part of this article please give me credit and a link back to my website. Thank you.

LIONS CLUB SPEECH CONTEST

By Shirley M. Carolan, ATM-G

One of the perks of being a Toastmaster, whether fairly new, or an old veteran like me, is that you learn skills that you can use along the way to help others. Once you’ve mastered the fine art of giving feedback to a speaker, when you evaluate their performance, their delivery, body language, voice, pace, pausing, organization and sometimes their content too, you will have opportunities to give feedback to other speakers outside your Toastmaster club. You won’t even have to look for them, they will find you!

When I evaluate a Toastmaster Club member, or I am acting as the General Evaluator of a meeting, I always tell the speakers that we (evaluators) are not paid critics, rather we are there to give “constructive feedback” to the speaker. This helps them to relax a little knowing that we are not going to criticize them. Our goal is simply to point out what they did well and where and how they might improve.

Over the years, I’ve been asked to be a judge in a speech contest for high school teens sponsored by some civic club. At these events, the speakers use numbers as an introduction rather than their names, to eliminate favoritism, etc. Last Sunday was no exception. I was invited by the Encinitas Lions Club to be a judge for their annual speech contest. It is always a thrill for me to do this because I love hearing what our youth thinks, how they research their topic and how they deliver it. It’s a great opportunity to give back to the community.

The topic last Sunday was, I thought, a difficult one: “What Can The America of Yesterday Teach The America of Today!” I thoroughly enjoyed every minute of it. Each student had original content, great quotations and concrete examples. I particularly liked one student who talked about our Founding Fathers and the Right To Vote, along with the Great Depression and the apathetic attitude today towards voting. In a presidential election year it brought home the importance of getting out there to vote!

After the contest, I got to speak to each contestant, congratulate them and give them some personal feedback. They each received a money gift depending on their placement in the contest. It was a win-win situation for all! Here’s to future contests!.

Shirley M. Carolan, ATMG
Writer ● Speaker ● Artist
artistwithaflair@att.net
Phone/Fax: 760-732-0663
http://www.shirleycarolan.com
http://www.angelscross.blogspot.com
http://www.smcarolan.blogspot.com

CHRISTMAS MIRACLES

By Shirley M. Carolan, ATM-G

This past year has been fraught with health challenges for me right up until Christmas. The worst time was between October and December 2011 when I was in excruciating pain 24/7 and I thought my back would come off its hinges. For instance, on a scale of 1-10, the pain was 100! That gives you some idea of what I was up against. Pain killers and muscle relaxants were useless! A CT scan and MRI were also useless.

December came, and I thought about what kind of a life I wanted to live in 2012. I knew I had to get out of this pain first. That was a top priority. Next came seeing myself in good health and walking 1-2 miles a day without oxygen and without a walking cane (as I did the Spring of 2009 before everything hit the fan). Pretty important stuff. Once again, I refused to accept that my age was the sole culprit for my present circumstances.

Well this week leading up to Christmas was a turning point in my life. After a lot of praying for help and relief I experienced miracles happening! Yes, folks, Santa is alive and well! Wednesday morning I had Physical Therapy and in afternoon I saw Dr. Patel, the pain specialist, expecting to have the first in a series of epidurals. (The day before, Tuesday) I saw two MDs. My co-payment for these (4) doctors in (2) days was $150.00.

Would you believe Dr. Patel said I didn’t need the epidural because the physical therapy was helping me and that I should cancel the next appointment on 12/28 but keep the 1/4/2012 appt. I went to check out and Danielle, the secretary, asked me what Dr. Patel did to me. I said “Nothing – he just talked to me.” She said “Wait a minute,” then came back and handed me back my co-payment check! I was stunned. I figured they’d keep it as a “consultation” fee.

So, three (3) miracles occurred:

1. I didn’t need the epidural because I’m not in the severe pain as before.
2. I got my co-payment check back.
3. I was able to give my newspaper carrier (woman) a nice check for Christmas.

Ain’t that something! I’m walking on air! To be out of that dreadful pain is a miracle in itself.

Yes, folks, Santa is alive and well and miracles are happening… Folks, I do hope you are experiencing similar miracles, or kindnesses from your fellow man. If so, do email me at: artistwithaflair@att.net and let me know.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!


Shirley M. Carolan, ATMG
Writer ● Speaker ● Artist
artistwithaflair@att.net
Phone/Fax: 760-732-0663
http://www.shirleycarolan.com
http://www.angelscross.blogspot.com
http://www.smcarolan.blogspot.com

Copyright© 2011 by Shirley M. Carolan. All rights reserved. To reprint any part of this article please give me credit and a link back. Thank you.
Labels: Inspiration

THE NUTCRACKER IS ALIVE AND WELL!

By Shirley M. Carolan, ATMG

When I lived in San Francisco I always treated myself, at Christmas-time, to a performance of “The Nutcracker.” I’ve carried on that tradition since moving to Southern California December 1997. To me Christmas isn’t Christmas without seeing a production of The Nutcracker…

I’m happy to say that there are some wonderful productions here in San Diego County. A few years back I got to see it performed by the famous Kirov Ballet Company in Escondido. I’ve also seen it performed by many local Junior Ballet Companies. The costumes are so different, varied and colorful, as are the renditions.

Last night was no exception. I had the privilege of seeing a “dress rehearsal” with some friends of this wonderful ballet featuring The Junior Ballet Ensemble, a non-profit organization created in 1997. (Their mission is to provide under-privileged youth and under-served seniors with a beautiful, and enriching cultural experience).

The cast was superb. Playing Herr Drosselmeyer was Thomas Deak,
Clara was Jessie Fendler, and the Nutcracker was played by Jonathan Shapiro. Of course, the music by Tchaikovsky was exquisite.

Other performances throughout the weekend will be held at the Sunshine Brooks Theater, 217 North Coast Hwy, Oceanside. For more information please call: 760-433-8900, www.oceansidetheater.org.

I encourage you to set a new tradition for yourself at Christmas. If you already have one I’d love to hear from you.

Shirley M. Carolan, ATMG
Writer ● Speaker ● Artist
artistwithaflair@att.net
Phone/Fax: 760-732-0663

http://www.shirleycarolan.com

http://www.angelscross.blogspot.com

http://www.smcarolan.blogspot.com

Copyright© 2011 by Shirley M. Carolan. All rights reserved. To reprint any part of this article please contact me. Thank you.

MAKING DECISIONS THAT EMPOWER YOU!

By Shirley M. Carolan, ATM-G

Over the years I’ve complimented myself on making decisions that have improved my life, welfare, education, etc. But, there were some serious voids that I didn’t want to confront. For example, I found myself making decisions based on what I could afford rather than what I needed, especially when it came to vacations. Sadly, I still do this today but now understand what’s behind such vacation decisions …

For many weeks I’d had severe back pain (24/7) that left me incapacitated. All home remedies were useless. Finally, I sort chiropractic help. My health insurance does not cover chiropractors. But, I was in enough pain that I knew I could not put a price tag on my health! Luckily, the universe stepped in to help. The mail brought a flyer from Dr. Farthing, my chiropractor of many years, offering a new service of adjustments only. I quickly made an appointment and now after three visits feel like a new woman! I am ecstatic that I gave myself permission to take action based on what I needed versus on what I could afford.

As a result, I am more determined than ever to get my health back by eventually discarding the walker, cane, and oxygen tank. Relying daily on the walker means that I’ve let some muscles atrophy. Hence, I’m unable to walk without this help. I know I need more patience with myself and must not expect miracles overnight. I plan to chart some small progress daily instead of giving up too quickly because I can’t reach my goal fast enough.

This means that some day I will travel again to places I’ve longed to visit, particularly Ireland where my ancestors are from. In order to trudge through museums, castles, churches, pubs, the countryside, etc. I must be able to walk without any impediments. Today, I would plan such a vacation without worrying about affording it but based on what I need to accomplish to enjoy a richer, fuller, happier life! Yes, I now have two very worthwhile goals to pursue: better health and a wonderful vacation based upon what I need rather than what I can afford.

Take a look at your life. Are you making decisions based on what you can afford versus upon what you need? I urge you not to shortchange yourself. You can’t put a price tag on health or vacations. Both are necessary to stay rejuvenated. I’m NOT saying you should spend your life savings or go into massive debt with no way of paying it off. Rather, journal about it and see where you can make some creative changes, improvisations or short cuts to help you reach your dreams. I guarantee you’ll be glad you did! Let me know your thoughts on this subject.

Bon voyage!

Shirley M. Carolan, ATMG
Writer ● Speaker ● Artist
artistwithaflair@att.net
Phone/Fax: 760-732-0663

http://www.shirleycarolan.com

http://www.angelscross.blogspot.com

http://www.smcarolan.blogspot.com

Copyright© 2011 by Shirley M. Carolan. All rights reserved. To reprint any part of this article. Thank you.

THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!

By Shirley M. Carolan, ATM

It would be remiss of me to let any more time go by without thanking all you wonderful people who have left such encouraging messages this past year on my website www.shirleycarolan.com .

I want you to know that I sincerely I appreciate your taking the time to read my (website) articles and then writing me a comment, suggestion or two, and/or forwarding them on to your friends. Some of you even suggested that I sell my articles on-line and elsewhere. I am giving that some thought. What is fascinating is that you come from all over the globe, from various industries, and both sexes. I am deeply touched!

I’ve tried to reach some of you by email, but others just left their website address. Hence, I want to answer a few of your questions here.

Firstly, I started my website and blogs with different objectives in mind. Secondly, I write my own articles, about things that interest me, with each having an “a hah” moment. This way I don’t have to please someone else and I keep control of my writing. It’s amazing what lessons or new ideas can come from ordinary, everyday, events that happen. I feel the universe is teaching me there is more than one point of view, that I don’t need to be a captive of my emotions, or give my power away; that I can validate myself honestly and truthfully, that there are no coincidences but many realities… Little did I know this philosophy would resonate with so many of you…

Lastly the website was designed by a professional several years ago but has since been modified. Sorry, I do not know which software/platform she used.

In closing, I hope that you will continue to read and enjoy my articles, leave me a comment, or contact me directly with any pressing question and I will get back to you.

Cheerio, Ciao, Auf Weidersehen!

Shirley M. Carolan, ATMG
Writer ● Speaker ● Artist
artistwithaflair@att.net
Phone/Fax: 760-732-0663
http://www.shirleycarolan.com
http://www.angelscross.blogspot.com
http://www.smcarolan.blogspot.com

Copyright© 2011 by Shirley M. Carolan. All rights reserved. To reprint any part of this article. Thank you.

TOASTMASTER CONTESTS BEGIN!

By Shirley M. Carolan, ATMG

It’s that time of year when Toastmasters International Clubs all over the globe start having their two annual Fall contests: The Humorous Speech Contest, and the Evaluation Contest. The winners at the Club level than proceed to the Area level and compete with contestants from clubs within their Area. Next follows the Division level contest, and finally the big daddy of all, the District Speech Contests.

Right before the Labor Day holiday my club, Tick Talk Toastmasters, Carlsbad, Calif. held it’s two contests. The Humorous Speech contest lived up to its name with some top candidates vying for first place. The winner is Erik Huber, a former navy SEAL, who regaled us with stories from his life.

The Evaluation Contest is more serious. A guest speaker, usually one unknown to the contestants, delivers a 5-7 minute speech on a topic of their choice that they would like to get some feedback on. The participants in this contest get five (5) minutes to assess the speech, and deliver a report using highly technical criteria, and come up with an evaluation of how the speech impacted them, what the strengths and weaknesses were, with concrete suggestions for improvement. Some criteria used in judging the speech are: Body language, vocal variety, clarity, effectiveness, purpose, correct grammar, a clear opening, body, and conclusion with something the audience can take home with them, e.g., What’s In It For Me (WIIFM)?

All evaluators are sequestered as they write up their report. Then, all must hand in their reports and pens to the Sargent @ Arms while the first contestant is led back into the main room to give their report. The other evaluation contestants therefore, have no idea what each Evaluator has to say to the guest speaker and audience.

This year, we had three very three very competent evaluators: Our Club President, Carole Sheckler, a seasoned Toastmaster, Dan McKeon, and a 30 year veteran, yours truly, Shirley Carolan. I was very happy to compete in this contest having been absent during August due to cataract surgery. Even though I have 30 years’ of experience behind me, it is surprising how rusty one can get.

I am pleased to say that I won the Evaluation Contest. I used the “Three P’s” method for evaluating: “Posture, Pausing, and Pacing.” For posture I described how the speaker used his hands, with the no-no fig leaf position, then rubbing his hands together, etc. I complimented him on his pausing and pacing throughout and his excellent slides. Lastly, I gave him three suggestions for improvement: Get a laser pointer for his slides, thus avoiding talking to his slides with his back to the audience, which muffled his voice. Next, to watch his body language, particularly his hand movements which were a bit distracting, and lastly, to watch his grammar, particularly his word endings which were a bit slurred.

Now it’s off to the Area Contest and competing with all the clubs in our Area! What fun! Maybe I’ll see you there?

Shirley M. Carolan, ATMG

Writer ● Speaker ● Artist
artistwithaflair@att.net
Phone/Fax: 760-732-0663
http://www.shirleycarolan.com
http://www.angelscross.blogspot.com
http://www.smcarolan.blogspot.com

Copyright© 2011 by Shirley M. Carolan. All rights reserved. To reprint any part of this article please give me credit and a link back. Thank you.